Pandemic Journal March 20th - March 22nd

Friday, March 20th

We had moments of nice weather today. At other moments, it was torrential downpour. I went on a long
walk though and shut everything out except for Agnes Obel. I also forced M. outside (threatening to not take
her driving if I did not see her going outside when possible). N. had meltdowns today too. S. yelled at her
for wearing makeup for the third day in a row, she got in trouble for clinging to her phone so vehemently
and she is starting to feel the crush of not seeing her friends after so long.

M. thinks none of this is bothering me much. “You like just being at home and being by yourself! You
could stay away from everyone for months and not care!” While this is, for the most part, true, it is definitely
not easy for me. First off, I don’t like that I can’t go out (especially to the gym and the library!). But also, I
live a lot in my head. They have no idea what I'm going through in there. I share a small amount of my worries
and frustrations but they mostly see that I am occupied, content and positive. I convey that for them and for
myself. Otherwise, I might go under too (see a sample of my darker thoughts above).

We watched ‘Castaway’ with Tom Hanks, celebrating the fact that he and Rita recovered from the Coronavirus. 

I did take a walk with neighbor R. today, chatted with L. on the porch and neighbor J. came by for a good
long chat on the porch, 4 feet of separation.

Saturday, March 21st

There could be positives that come out of this, possible changes when all this is over (assuming there will
be an ‘over’). As I've alluded to previously, there could be a grand, Universal purpose here.
I hope people come to some of these realizations:

*People and connection can be more fulfilling than what you do for a living

*You can still walk outside in the cold

*You don’t have to be on the go all the time

*You don’t have to have plans out to enjoy a Saturday night

*You don’t need Starbucks every day, or even once a week
*You can make good food at home, every day of the week

*You don’t need as much as you think you do (or have)

*We don’t need to travel every time there are days off school/work

*We (the world) need each other in cooperation and information

*We get along better without the pressures of time, work and social constructs...
We can learn a lot from this experience; about ourselves, about the world, about those closest to us. If we
don't make something of this, then it will be all for naught, no matter the outcome.

If we, as a family, as a community, as a nation, as a world, don’t make some of these changes, then shame
on us and we deserve what we get.

And, I hope we have all been able to catch up on things we felt behind in, created something new or, developed
a positive habit, hobby or outlook.

The earth is really benefitting from this. I hear there are satellite views of clear skies over previously
smog-coveredparts of the world. There is not as much single-use plastics being consumed, not as much
carbon emissions being produced. We need to show Mother Nature that it will not take an epidemic killing
us off to get us to change our ways. Let's hope this is just a wake up call and that we have heeded it.

On a less philosophical note:

Yesterday we cooked, cleaned, M. played guitar and learned new songs, N. played successfully with
friends over Facetime. I braved the virus and went for a grocery store run to get fresh veggies and fruit
(no pears, no plums and, no salt). I FaceTimed with K.K., read a lot of Becoming by Michelle Obama and
had a one-person dance party, embarrassing my family in front of no one for a couple hours. The girls bickered
badly a few times, even getting physical,  but, I think if we are cooped up just a few more weeks, they might
actually start to like each other...